My husband is reeling off puns about cows while wearing a “Mr Tea” T shirt, with Mr T in the shape of a teapot.
We were woken at 7 a.m by bagpipe rehearsals up at Edinburgh castle, which is pretty much our next door neighbour. Last night it was the full band. I’m pretty sure they’ll be playing “You Raise Me Up” at the Tattoo, unless they just played it eight times in a row to cheer themselves up.
Our tech man at the Gilded Balloon was a star and I got quite excited about the language of spotlights and blue lights and washes, but then was glad again that my show contains basically nothing technical at all.
Before the show I started worrying about all the things that could go wrong, then it hit me that reviewers will actually be coming and saying things about me, and concluding the worst thing they could say was that I was “chubby”, followed by that the show was crap. Then, in conference, director, producer and husband convinced me the show was good but it was always possible someone wouldn’t like it, I was about to start worrying about that, but then realised I was a bit light headed and dehydrated so went to get a cup of tea. It was the girl’s first day too and she said she didn’t have any milk, was that alright? I thought her not having milk would be like me not having a microphone and walked round the corner to see a Juice bar. I remembered Murray Lachlan Young said to get juice with ginger in it. There was one called “Lifesaver” so I got it.
Glugged it down, my life was saved. Then audience people filed in. 25. Hecky thumps. I was expecting five, all invitees. These included actual people off the street. We’ve hardly flyered yet. Whippee.
Then I did the show. At one point my nose ran a bit. I got very hot under the spotlight. At one point I had no idea what came next. But the audience responded, with laughs and aahs, and what, I could not see in the dark, but apparently was listening.
At the end I was knackered but relieved.
Then started worrying about things again. Then saw how exciting Edinburgh is; Toby Hadoke’s Dr Who show (one night only), a Moomins exhibition, lots of knitted crustaceans, Jenners, the Divine Comedy (but sold out) and so many shows I don’t know where to start.
Somewhere like here…