This poem was commissioned by Fest magazine
The Fringe Performer’s first day at work
You’ve got possession of
your new office
for about an hour a day.
People will come and watch you work,
if you’re lucky.
You’re on very variable pay.
Sometimes, when you’re at the office
there are hecklers.
Your parents think this job
means you’re pretty feckless.
In this office there’d be nothing crueller
than no one talking about you
round the water cooler.
You’ve got less than a month
to get that promotion,
If you’re lucky maybe there’ll be
an office romance.
No matter how hard things get
don’t try the David Brent dance