Fifty Shades of Grey (Suits)

Some political-poetical oratory… written specially for the TUC Better Way Demo in York today – a march to coincide with the Lib Dems’ spring conference in the city. I was one of the all-women line up of speakers at the rally. I learned that marching can be fun, lots of people will smile and wave and show their support and that Police horses poo A LOT.


Fifty Shades of Grey (Suits)


There are Fifty Shades of Grey Suits

colouring the coalition.

The Tories like to use their whip

to thrash the Lib Dems into submission.


There are Fifty Shades of Grey suits

from S and M- I mean M and S

and fifty ways to twist your tongue

to say the country’s not in a mess.


A better way is working together

adding a rainbow of new colours into the mix

letting a new spectrum of voices be heard,

above public school bullies and political pr…ats.


There are Fifty Shades of Grey Suits,

so Nick Clegg thought there was something to gain

from accepting David Cameron’s invitation

to join him down in the red room of pain.


Voting Lib Dem’s no longer something you show off in public,

like reading erotic novels on the train,

they’re set for a spanking next summer

and may never recover again.


They forgot their manifestos and promises,

rolled over onto their backs,

said Yes to Student Tuition Fees

and Yes to the Bedroom Tax.


There are Fifty Shades of Grey (Suits)

and 78% of MPs are men,

it’s time hear the chime of a different agenda

put a new bong up Big Ben


There are Fifty Shades of Grey

and fifty keys fitting fifty locks

for old Etonian cabinet Ministers

showing off their big red box.


There are fifty shades of grey suits

in the contract no one could stop

and four years on it’s still very hard

to know whether it’s David or Nick who’s on top.


There are Fifty Shades to Say

that the powerful are dominating the weak,

and there are fifty ways to say it

but fewer chances for the vulnerable to speak.


Sue Marsh was cut from a TV debate,

the wheelchairs shoved to the side

there are Fifty Shades of Katie Hopkins’ mock-outraged face

ready to troll and deride.


There are Fifty Shades of Pay-

if you’re a tax dodging billionaire

you can be a Sub-Dom or a Non-Dom

and think bigger bonuses would actually be fair.


There are Fifty Shades of Pay-

if you’re poor it’s a zero hours contract

and sanctions and cuts and ATOS

and your right to welfare attacked.


So beware the Fifty Shades of Grey Suits,

I don’t mean to be gratuitously crude

but they seem to get perverse pleasure

in watching the country get screwed.


But there are Fifty Shades of a Better Way,

yellow, black, blue, red and green.

Erect your placards proudly,

let the true glow of your colours be seen.


It’s time to throw off the shackles and chains,

challenge the public’s alienation

stop allowing the weak to be dominated

and stand together in co operation.